It's my birf-day

Well not anymore..but it was! On Saturday (the 28th!) Sunniest day of the year I tell ya. But that little phrase in the title is what Emery tells me pretty much every. single. day. She thinks every day is her birthday, and I have to explain to her that it is not her birthday yet...It is pretty sad when I would have to say, first it's mom's, then Macie's, then baby brother's, then Dad's, then grandma's, then grandpa's, THEN IT'S YOURS! 

She is rarely amused. 

But anyway. Back to my birthday celebrations. I seriously am in love with birthday's. I think they are the best days of the year, as you'll notice I pretty much make a pretty big deal out of all of my family's birthday. Oh well, I love them. I was actually pretty bummed when I saw that I would be on call for work on mine! But as an adult I didn't feel it right to try to get it off (ha!). So I dealt with it. It actually turned out working out fine too. I did one visit early before we did anything, and a second while the girls napped. So it was just fine. 

So early Saturday morning I headed down and did a quick dressing change, and Jake headed to the Warriors of the Wasatch Utah Air Show at Hill AFB. I was super excited! They haven't done the air show the past few years because of Air Force budget cuts. And I hadn't been a few years before that since I wasn't living in Northern Utah, so I was super excited. I knew Emery would love it, because she loves planes, and of course Jake would love it. So we went! We had a lot of fun, and of course the Thunderbirds didn't disappoint! Of course that is everyone's favorite but something else that they did that was super neat that I hadn't seen before was an F-16 attack simulation. Hill mostly only does F-16s, so we see them flying A LOT. Emery loves to watch them, Macie screams because they scare her because they are so loud. But the attack simulation was really neat. They were flying super low and dropping "bombs" (I have no idea what they really were but they really looked like bombs, black smoke and everything, there is picture below so just keep scrolling) At first we thought a plane had crashed when we saw it! Then we caught on. Anyway, it was really neat. Emery got pretty good at covering her ears. The Thunderbirds weren't too loud even though they are F-16s too, but the regular F-16s that the base actually flies and uses that aren't for entertainment, were just as loud as usual, except we were closer to them so it was worse. We tried to cover Macie's ears as much as she would let us. But Emery was more than okay with doing her own. 

Macie rarely took her eyes off the sky. She would point at all the planes and try to grab at them. 

On the left is the F-16 attack simulation, on the right are the Thunderbirds. 

More F-16 attack simulation

The "bomb" they dropped. Pretty cool. (When it isn't real...)

More Thunderbirds. 

After we were done at the airshow we went out for a birthday lunch instead of dinner. That days pregnancy craving was Olive Garden Salad and Breadsticks, so that is where we went! And it was delicious. It's was Macie's first Olive Garden experience and she was a fan. She ate Emery's Macaroni, breadsticks and salad. That girl can EAT I tell ya. After that we went and did some birthday shopping for Macie! I can't believe she is 1 next week! Then Jake headed home to lay the girls down and make a birthday cake, and I went and did my last visit.

Macie woke up from her nap right as Jake was finishing frosting the cake. He let her in on a little of the yumminess of frosting. It was quite a battle to get her to finally stop. Jake made me a delicious Orange Cream Cake (from scratch!). He did a really good job. Everyone loved it. 

We took the cake and headed up to my mom and dads for a birthday dinner with everyone. We roasted hot dogs, ate cake, and play T-ball. I have been wanting to get this set for Emery for months and months, so I finally did it on Saturday. So we of course had to take it to have papa teach her the ropes. She had a blast. Although I'm still not convinced this girl is gonna follow in her momma and grandpa's softball loving footsteps. The older she gets the more I'm convinced she's going to be a runner like her dad. But either way, I don't care. She has quite some time to decide!

Macie is just happy if you'll bounce her on the trampoline. 

After a game or two of baseball we had some of Jake's delicious cake. This brought on probably the funniest moment of the day. So remember how I told you Emery is always convinced it is her birthday. Well this day was no exception. Especially with all the birthday talk, she kept yelling, "It's my birfday!!" Well Jake got out the cake and lit the candles and of course she kept saying that, and Jake kept telling her, "No, it's moms birthday" Well when they started singing Happy Birthday, she really thought it was her birthday. Her eyes lit up and she was smiling and so excited until they got to the end...And instead of Happy Birthday dear Emery...She heard Happy Birthday dear Kara....You've never seen a more heart broken 2 year old in the world. Her eyes dropped and she was so sad. No one could stop laughing long enough to make her feel better. Poor kid has a lot of waiting to do. And I'm afraid we'll be seeing the same scene at Macie's birthday next week. And probably all of the other family birthdays in the months before hers! Poor girl. It's a rough life being 2. 

After a little while Macie was beat from the busy day and lack of good naps so we headed home to put her to bed. Overall it was an absolutely wonderful day! I was spoiled with some crafting equipment from Jake and my mom. Which really can never be a wrong gift for me ;) Jake also got my some things I needed and a gift card for some new workout shoes! I can't wait to use it, I'm waiting until post baby to go shopping for them though. Thanks to everyone for their sweet messages and cards! I love you all!

Lately...

It's been a while since I've done a "lately" post, so I decided it was time. It seems like life never slows down, I don't feel like I stop from sun up to...well almost by the time the sun comes BACK up some days...But then again at the same time, it feels like nothing really changes...or happens...or I get anything done...who knows. But life is definitely crazy. So here is a little update on each of us....

Jake: Pretty much can just sum up Jake with...work...and we could end it there. Week before last week he worked 57 hours. Last week he cut back to 55 ;) I did have to tease him on Tuesday night when he got home and said, "So far this week I've worked 23 hours" My reply... "So far this week I've worked 72." ;) Luckily he saw my humor, because we REALLY do appreciate how hard he works. While I do have never ending hours, stay at home mom pay isn't quite enough to live on ;) haha. Seriously though, he has been working, and he never complains a bit. We sure love him. In spite of all of his working though he seems to never miss a beat with the girls though. He usually tries to clump his long days into 2 days a week if he can, and then is still home with us in the evenings the other nights. Some weeks it isn't as possible, but it works out usually. He went to scout camp 2 weeks ago at Camp Bartlett up by Bear Lake. It was about as much fun as scout camp with a bunch of obnoxious 12-13 year old boys sounds like it would be. haha! Just kidding, he had fun. I would have wrung a few of their necks, but he is much more patient with those kids than I could be. One of Jake's good friends just got back from Afghanistan last month, and will be back in Utah in a couple weeks, so he is really excited about that. He may finally have a rock climbing partner! I like going, but considering we have 2 very little kids, and I've pretty much constantly been pregnant for the past 2 years...I can't really go. So it will be nice to have him and his family living close for a while! Our other good friends, Chance and Anna Allen going to be moving up our way in 2 months too, so we are super excited to have all these Allen's living by us! We just love being with them. Jake is still in the Young Men's like I mentioned. He is getting his guns ready and tags bought to hit the hunts this fall. They didn't draw out for the Deer so it will probably just be the Elk this year. But either way, we always have so much fun. He did buy a new gun this weekend, and took it shooting yesterday. He's pretty happy anytime he gets to build up our "security system".

Kara: As much as you can sum up Jake's life with work, you can sum up mine with one word as well...Mom. But I love it. I feel like I'm over my head in Motherhood right now. But it is really good. This pregnancy has pretty much been identical to my last 2. Pretty dang easy! I'm really lucky. I have hit a new level of exhaustion this past week that I never dreamed possible. Turns out chasing an extremely hyper-active 2 year old...and a very mobile (almost) 1 year old, while 8 months pregnant, is exhausting. Some nights by 8 or 9 I can't even keep my eyes open, or move. The only thing aside from that that I have had worse this pregnancy is my Sciatica (nerve pain) Oh boy oh boy. There have been days when I literally cannot walk at all. Luckily the 2 days that it has happened have been weekends when Jake is home. But even at times when he has been gone I have had an hour or two when I couldn't walk. One night I had to crawl down the hall to put the girls to bed, because I honest truthfully couldn't walk without feeling like my leg was being cut off. But at least it isn't constant! It comes and goes, it's just more often hurting than not. I am now 34.5 weeks, 5.5 weeks left. I am so excited. I am having weekly ultrasounds and weekly non stress tests now (and for the past 3 weeks) since I have a 2 vessel cord with this baby they have to watch him a little closer. But so far everything is looking perfect! The biggest worry they have with 2 vessel cord babies is that they don't get enough nourishment and don't grow, but he was 4 lbs 13 ounces at my ultrasound today, so that is really good. For some "me time" lately I've been doing projects like crazy. It has been so fun. It helps that I have about a million to get down with trying to get the baby's room ready, and Macie's birthday party. But I love it. I don't know what I'm going to do when it's all done. I have most everything sewn for the baby's room. I still need to do a Boppy cover, curtains, and a changing pad cover. I need to go buy fabric first...I have most of the wall stuff ready to go up. We finally got the room painted this weekend and I'm in love with the color that I chose. I'm so glad we went with it. Picking paint is always so hard for me. I have a picture in my mind but I feel like once it gets up it doesn't quite look like I planned (i.e. Macie's room...and the bathroom...) But I love this color. It is also the color that I chose for our Master bedroom, so I am really excited about it. Aside from that, I'm just staying busy with these adorable girls of ours. I love being home with them all day. Even though it is so hard sometimes, I know I will miss these days some day. One of my favorite quotes right now is, "The day's are long, but the years are short" It's so true. I am trying to soak up every single minute. The good and the bad.

Emery: Oh where to begin with this girl. Honestly she is the absolute sweetest little girl in the world. It is amazing. But she can also try your patience. She pushes the limits as far as she can then flips a switch to melt you with sweetness. It's crazy. She is so busy, busy, busy. She does. not. stop. And I am not exaggerating. Like at all. Even Jake said the other night, She really never ever stops talking does she? And it's true she really doesn't. We have constant never ending conversations. She is my little best friend. We talk all day long. Her and Macie are just head over heels over each other. But they also fight a lot too. Mostly it stems from Emery not understanding that Macie is still a baby and doesn't understand what hitting, and pulling hair and all that is. So Macie thinks she is playing and pulls Emery's hair, so she screams and pushes her over, so Macie starts screaming. But in another couple months when Macie can understand that those things hurt, it will be a lot better. Because when they will just sit and play, they have so much fun. They will both be in giggle fits and it's the sweetest. They hate being apart. When Macie lays down for her morning nap Emery gets so sad. She will ask me 10 times where Macie is and if she is awake yet. And if Emery gets put in time out, Macie cries more than she does waiting for her to get out! Macie gets about about 1 1/2-2 hours before Emery in the mornings and you've never seen a bigger smile as when she finally sees Emery awake. Emery has also gotten very protective of her lately. If we are at the park she has to make sure that Macie feels included and that all the other kids are nice to her and share with her. They really are each other's best friends. I hope that it will always be like that. A benefit of having 3 kids in 3 years right?! Built in best friends. Poor baby boy is going to have a lot of little mommies ;)
Emery continues to amaze us with how smart she is. Most people when they meet her think she is a really small 3 year old. Her vocabulary is really good, she talks so well. It's because she gets so much practice ;) She is constantly learning from everything that is going on around her. Most of the time we have no idea where she picks up most of the funny things that she starts doing. Her latest is hilarious. She started calling me "Little mommy" and Jake "little daddy". Everything is "Thank you little mommy!" It makes us laugh every time. One thing she has started telling me all the time is "Mom you're a mommy and Dad is a parent!" I have no idea what that means, or where she came up with it, but it makes me laugh Although sometimes she will say, "Mom you're a dragon and Daddy is a parent." Or insert some other random animal... She has become quite the parrot lately too. We have had to really start watching what we say and what phrases we use. It only takes her hearing it once and she hears it and says it. I felt really bad a few weeks ago. It had been such a hard day, well week actually. Jake had been gone so much and it had been days without a minutes break, so I went up to my mom and dad's to get a little break. I told my mom that Emery had been being a little brat that day. Well I guess she heard me, because ever since she will tell people "I'm being a little brat" I felt terrible the first time I heard it. So I am really trying to not say anything about how she is behaving to anyone in front of her! We really are watching what we say in her presence! Obviously Jake and I need to talk about different things and situations and how to handle them, but we are learning that they need to be discussed behind closed doors now. Because honest truthfully, she is a really good kids. Does she have moments when she pushes the limits? Sure! But she is a very well behaved 2 year old, and extremely polite. I get 100 I love you moms, kisses, hugs, and can I help you's a day. Can't complain about that!

Boston and Emery at the Drive In movie

Drinking out of the sprinkler (it's clean water...don't worry)

I gave myself and Emery a pedicure last week. Pretty impressive for being 34 weeks pregnant am I right?? ;)

Macie: I do monthly updates on her...so I don't really have much to say. We just love her to death and can't believe that she is going to be one here in just a couple weeks. That just went too fast. Man are we lucky to have her!

Baby Boy: He does have a name!! Like I said he is growing great. He is a very active little guy, just like his sisters. He may even be more active, which I can't imagine someone with more energy than Emery, but we'll see if it is possible. Like usual, I am really hoping that he comes early, but not counting on it. I do not want him to come before Macie's birthday, so after I am 37 weeks I am good to go. But I am mostly just anticipating going to at least my due date or after. I would love if he came July 31st (random, just works best with our crazy schedule!) But I also wouldn't be surprised if he and Jake share a birthday! But I hope that he doesn't, I'd like to keep them all on their own special days. We have a lot of summer birthday's in this family!

Happy Father's Day!

Happy Father's Day! We've had a great day, and most importantly Jake says he's had a great day. What a wonderful opportunity we've had to celebrate the dad's in our lives. 

We started off the day with breakfast, Baked Blueberry French Toast. It is delicious! Then I gave him his present. Emery has been sleeping so late this weekend, so we didn't bother waiting for her. 

Jake has been begging for a grill for a while now. So I decided that Father's Day would be the perfect time. But I really wanted to surprise him. I bought the grill and stashed it at my parents, but I bought a grill cover as well for it. I wrapped that up and gave that to him. He was so confused. 

Haha, his face makes me laugh. He was so confused why I would give him a grill cover. I then told him the rest of his present was out in the car. 

He was pretty dang happy. He took it straight in the house and started setting it up.

Macie was a huge help....not...

After a little while Emery woke up and gave him her present that she made! Hence the bed head. She is also in a always wear dad's shirt bed phase. It cracks me up because I went through the same thing as a kid ;) 

Ta-da! He is pretty excited about it!

Then off we headed to church! After some cute pictures of these guys. Oh I love them. At about 5:00 we headed up to my parents for dinner, games, hanging out, and homemade ice cream. It was a great day!

Happy Father's Day love! We feel so blessed to have you in our lives! You are the best daddy anyone could ask for. You work so hard for us and never once would we hear you complain about the 50 or 60 hour work weeks that you put in for us. All while still finding time to wrestle, play, and love on these adorable little girls! I couldn't ask for a better partner on this of parenthood. Thank you for all you do! Hope you had a wonderful day!

11 Months

My baby is almost 1! What in the world?! Where does time go? But this little sweetie is 11 months! I can hardly believe it. And then 3 short weeks after that our little boy will be here.

Life is so good right now. Oh man, it is so good. 

Macie is the happiest, most laid back, easiest baby you will ever meet. She now says, ma-ma, da-da, and num num. And a bunch of other words that don't make sense, but Emery seems to understand. Who knows. 

She mimics everything we do. Shaking her head no, clapping, peek a boo, dancing, she'll try just about anything. 

She is super close to walking. She has taken one step a few times, but nothing more than that. She does walk around with her little toy walker all day long though. She doesn't crawl if that thing is anywhere around. She just walks around with that. I'm okay with her holding out as long as possible. 

She loves to cuddle. I love it. Before every nap and before bed every night she just lays down on your chest and cuddles you until she falls asleep. It is the best. She also loves to cuddle anything soft, any blanket, pillow, stuffed animal, anything. She just cuddles right up on it and waits for you to say "Ahhhh". Just like Emery did. 

She still just has the 4 teeth, 2 top and 2 bottom. I am hoping that any more that want to come in in the next 3 months, come in in the next month and half. I really don't want to have a teething baby that wants to be held all the time and a newborn that needs to be held...But there isn't much I can do to influence that so we'll just see how it goes. 

She loves to eat. We haven't given her anything yet that she won't eat. She doesn't eat baby food, we haven't really done the pureed baby food with her. Just a couple times. We just give her what we eat basically, and she loves it. She can eat and eat and eat. I would say she probably out eats Emery a lot of the time. It's amazing. 

She loves to play with her sister. They fight like crazy some times, but they are also the best of friends the rest of the time. They chase each other, tickle each other, laugh, and everything else. It's the sweetest. Until Macie pulls Emery's hair...and then Emery hits her and tells her to stop it...and then Macie starts screaming. We're working on that...and probably will be for a while, especially until Macie understands and has a clue what she is even doing. 

I sure do wish you'd slow down and stop growing baby girl!! We love you!

The Weekend

Just a little update on our weekend:

A few months ago I got a call from the Stake Presidency to come and meet with them. And of course like  you always do, as soon as you get that call you start racking your brain for callings or reasons that you could be getting called in! For 2 days we couldn't figure out why they had called to meet with ME, not both of us, just me. I had decided they wanted me to speak in Stake Conference (this was about a month before it). And I was freaking out. Luckily I was wrong. But what they did ask was almost equally as terrifying! Each year the Stake puts on these two big activities for the Young Men and Young Women in the Stake over 16 years old. Mountain Top Mission for the boys, and Daughters of Faith for the girls. The boys go up on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday morning then the girls go up Wednesday night, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. So they only overlap a little bit to have a little testimony meeting and stuff. It's really a super cool thing. The boys are put together in companionships and learn to be missionaries. The girls have families and learn about womanhood. They have firesides, and speakers, and classes and all kinds of stuff. The stake presidency spends the week up there with them, and the stake young men and young women presidencies, plus all of the leaders that they call just to do these activities. It really is super neat. So anyway...I was called to be a speaker at the Daughter of Faith. I was asked to come and speak on Motherhood.

uhhhh What?!? I mean, I know I'm a mom, but I'm not even close to being qualified to actually speak on the subject...

I tried and tried and tried to prepare. I read talk after talk after talk, prayed, and read and read again. And I got nowhere. I wrote 2 talks and still didn't like either of them. I had no idea what I was going to do. 

So the day finally came, Jake came home from work early to watch the girls, and I took off to the mountains. I told Jake even as I left I had no idea what I was going to say. I had ultimately decided that it was going to be a spirit lead discussion. 

The place where they were camping was absolutely gorgeous. There is a nice little girls camp up there where they were staying. I got there and talked with the Stake President and one of the counselors. Told them how nervous I was! And we got started. It ended up being such a wonderful experience. Sure there was a large group of girls who did. not. care. Like at all. I got the eye rolls and everything to make sure I knew they didn't care about Motherhood. But there were a few, who were eating it up. 

And they made it worth it. Some of those girls are just doing all they can to prepare. And I LOVE it. Motherhood is something that I am passionateabout. And so to go up there and talk to these girls, and be able to share with them the excitement that I feel every day I get to be a mom was amazing. I am so grateful for the experience. I did not want to leave. Afterwards was dinner and they asked me to stay for that too. Which I was more than willing to do, because I just did not want to leave. The spirit was so strong and those girls were just so eager to learn (well some of them) that they made me never want to leave. But alas, after dinner they were back into another fireside and it was time for me to go. 

But it wasn't all bad, because I got to go home and be a mom again. In all the craziness of breaking up fights, and timeouts, and everything else. 

I just love being a mom. And I'm so glad that I got to share that excitement with some of those girls up there. 

And if anyone is interested in all of my talk research I ended up with 3 talks that were my absolute favorites. Like really awesome talks, I highly recommend reading them.

Mothers who Know- Sister Julie Beck

Because she is a Mother-Elder Jeffery R. Holland

Daughters of God: Elder M. Russell Ballard

Saturday we had a birthday celebration! Last week was our good friends Chance and Anna's little girl, Kate's birthday. So Saturday they invited us to come celebrate! We were originally going to go to Lava Hot Springs, but plans were changed last minute and we just ended up going to a pool and swimming there. But the girls didn't care one bit, they still had a blast! They are little fishes. We got Emery that little life jacket thingy before we went to California and it has turned out to be such an awesome little thing! She can just swim all over all by herself now. She has gotten so good at it! She was swimming around with us in the deep end and I didn't even have to worry about it. Seriously. That thing is awesome.    

After all of the birthday celebrations, Jake still wanted to go do something. So he decided he wanted to go to Scheels and walk around. Turns out they were having some really good sales so we bought a few things too. And of course a family outing wouldn't be complete without some ice cream. 

Macie has gotten this Ice Cream eating thing down....

And just one sweet picture of my little angel playing outside with her chalk today. My grandma made this bench for Emery for her 1st birthday and it is Macie's favorite spot on the porch. She climbs up on it and just sits on it while she plays with eats chalk. 

Photo dump

I got looking at a bunch of our pictures the other day and realized I had A LOT of pictures that didn't really have a place to go...therefore they had never been blogged about. They were just random times I took my camera out, took a picture and that was that. But usually those pictures are my favorite pictures. Because they are spontaneous and just pictures of us doing our thing. Usually my house in messy in them, or one (or neither) of the girls hair is done, or maybe we're all still in pajamas. But hey, that's real life. So here is my photo dump. Really in no particular order at all, they could've been taken last week or all the way back to March....But at least they are here. 

 A few weeks ago we had family night with our neighbors. We roasted hot dogs and smores, while the kids played and played. It was such a fun night. These two are just the sweetest. 

One of Emery's favorite breakfasts is waffles. She likes them cut into strips though so that she can dip them. They make her pretty happy ;)

A few weeks ago I was making dinner and noticed that it was really quiet. And that neither kid was pulling at my leg or begging for food. Sometimes, even though I know something messy is probably happening, I just enjoy those moments, because they are so rare. This was one of those cases. When I did walk into the living room to see what was going on I found an empty tube of Desitin and a messy toddler....

Emery loves to put Macie in her toy buckets and push her around the house. It is hilarious. I love when these two just play together. They are usually both in giggle fits. I love these sisters so much. 

This post is obviously a few months old...April...We did a little mini celebration for Emery's half birthday. Nothing big, just a half a cake and birthday song. She loves to celebrate birthdays. She asks me almost daily if it is her birthday yet...she has a long time to wait. But this mini celebration appeased her need for a birthday, at least for a little while. 

Emery's favorite thing to read at night before bed is the Friend. She will sit and look at it even though she has no idea what it's saying. I think it's so sweet. 

Macie absolutely loves to play with chalk. She has gotten much better about not eating it lately, I think she has finally figured out that it doesn't taste good. She will actually just sit on the ground and draw with it. 

Emery has recently entered one of the weirdest phases....sleeping on the floor. She will NOT sleep in her bed for the past almost 2 weeks. Some nights she will let us put her to bed in her bed, but by the time we go in before we go to bed to check on her, she is on the floor. For the first few times she would take her pillow with her, now she just sleeps on the the floor with nothing but her blanket. Twice we've actually woken up in the middle of the night and found her asleep in the living room or hallway. I have no idea why she is doing it. We don't really care, we just think it is so random! Hey as long as she sleeps, I don't care where she is doing it. Although I do prefer for her to at least stay in her room. 

Macie had to learn from an early age that Mom can't always be around to entertain you. She is very good at entertaining herself and I love it. She will go in and pull out toys and just play without making a sound. Seriously if you ever wanted to meet an angel baby, this is your gal. She is the best baby ever. My grandma and mom are always telling me that she is the perfect 2nd child. She really is, especially with a busy body like Emery around and a newborn on the way. I seriously love this girl. 

One night I gave Macie a bowl of Cheerios to eat. Of course she just dumped them on the floor and started eating them off there. And of course Emery had to jump in and help. Oh well. At least I know my floor is clean...I think....

My mom and dad got their pigs last week so we had to go see the baby pigs. They are just barely weaned so they are baby babies. That is probably one of Emery's favorite parts of summer is papa's pigs. She always wants to go and see them. We even got one this year. (just to butcher) It will stay up there and they feed it and stuff, then at the end of the year we'll pay them for the feed and then pay for it to be butchered. I'm pretty excited to have a fridge full of meat. 

One of Emery's favorite activities lately is making necklaces and bracelets with her beads. She is only allowed to do it when Macie is asleep though because she drops them and Macie hurries to pick them up and eat them!

It is absolutely impossible to load or unload the dishwasher if this one is any where nearby. She instantly climbs in. Little stinker. 

We bought the girls this playground and boy oh boy has it been put to good use. We had it set up in the basement over the winter and then once it got warm we moved it outside in the yard. They both love it. 

Macie just crawling around in her usual odd places. 

There you have it. My massive photo dump. At least now I can officially say that I am 100% caught up on blogging. For 5 days at least until Macie turns 11 months...(what?!?!) Where does the time go. I can't believe it.